“Be still, and know that I am GOD.” ~ Psalm 46:10
I have a quiet week this week…no appointments. My plan for this week is to rest up & gear up for surgery next week.
In my devotional time today, I was reading about letting go of past regrets and allow GOD to restore us. No matter what is in our past, GOD is truly a GOD of restoration. He restores us so that we can live out the plan HE has for our lives…you know, the one we talked about in Jeremiah 29:11, plans to give us a future and a Hope.
“Mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore – the LORD above is mightier than these.” ~ Psalm 93:4
Now in order for us to live that Jeremiah 29:11 plan GOD has for us, sometimes we have to get still. Yes, be still in HIM so we can hear HIM. It’s when I get still with HIM that HE reveals the most intimate things, even the smallest of things. I realize that HE’s not withholding HIMself from me when HE doesn’t reveal all I want HIM to, when I want HIM to. I am passing through a major storm in my life…but I know HE is the One who quiets both the wind and waves. It’s in the storms of life that we find out who we really are…what we’re made of as the saying goes.
I was feeling a bit apprehensive about my upcoming surgery next week, my mind running wild imagining everything that could or would be absolutely horrifying about it. I’m beginning to feel increasingly nervous about the possibility of chemo & radiation. I tell myself the possibility of chemo and radiation because I still hold out Hope that I would be “that person”…you know, the one who goes back to the doctor for treatment and the doctor says “there’s been a miracle…your tumor is gone!” But, as it turns out, I was not “that person”. I wondered in my mind how the treatments would go…how sick I would get because of all the chemicals they would be putting in my body. And of course, the big, unimaginable thing…hair loss!
I took my fears to Father GOD and told HIM all my worries, basically letting HIM hear my heart. Of course, HE already knows what’s going on in my head and heart but, like any parent, HE wants us to talk to HIM. As I poured out my heart to my GOD, I wondered how many women have faced this same test and trial of emotions…I was about to find out about one of them.
Later that day, I received a phone call from a lady that does my companies payroll. I will call her by her initials, PA. Now the thing about this call is, PA very rarely calls me, she will email me & only call if she doesn’t hear from me. But this day, she called. We discussed my payroll and then I informed her that I would be out of the office the following Wednesday through Friday as I would be having surgery…a Lumpectomy. PA then asked me if it was also with Sentinel Node…I was shocked she knew that term and I asked her if she had been through this before. To my surprise, she said yes, that she had been diagnosed with Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma in her 20’s and again in her 40’s. She is now in her 50’s and doing great! I could not believe my ears! And then she said…”Lisa, it’s not a walk in the park, I’ll say that, but it’s not nightmare on Elm Street either” (hence the name of my blog). She went on to say that she did not lose her hair. She said it thinned out some, but she did not lose it. That made me so Hopeful! Maybe I’ll be like PA and not lose my hair!
What were the odds of having that conversation with her today? The very thing I had poured my heart out to Father GOD about earlier in the day! Only GOD could orchestrate that!…And I am so Thankful HE did!
