July 3, 2019 – My devotional reading today talked about making a plan & focusing on that plan – the plan GOD has for me. GOD’s plans are blessed…I must stay focused on HIM.
“Keep your eyes fixed straight ahead. Do not look to the left and do not look to the right.” ~ Proverbs 4:25
This reading could not be more fitting. Today is the day I finally met my Oncologist, Dr. SB. He told me he would be setting out my treatment plan with me. He explained again what Triple Negative Ductal Carcinoma is and said that I was in the 90% cure rate because we caught it early & that it is still very small – HALLELUJAH!! Finally, some Good News! Dr. SB went on to say that is has grown some so we must get it out…but that I should “Stop Worrying” because I am going to be fine. He said it will be a long, hard road but I will be fine. My head was reeling! I was so excited to finally hear something positive for a change.
The Dr. SB asked me if I believe in GOD. I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. Stunned, I ask him to repeat…again he asked – “Do you believe in GOD?”…I did hear him right! I told him most definitely I do. He said, “Well then, you need to stop worrying, get plenty of sleep, and start eating.” And again, he told me I was going to be fine. He said, “GOD will decide how and when you are going to die.” – He was absolutely right! It was at that point I knew he was the right doctor for me. He went on to say, this tumor was not going to take me – so I should relax and eat because I would be losing weight during chemo and I needed to gain some weight back…now that’s something I never thought I would hear…I need to gain weight…HA!
Next he gave me the treatment plan he had for me. He said I had 2 tumors & we would know for sure if they were both positive or negative once they were removed. I would also have one lymph node removed – the one closest to the tumors. I would most definitely be having chemotherapy as chemo protects the breast. He said this cancer can spread very rapidly so “window” to remove it is now. If the tumors are 2cm in size, I would have chemo before and after removal. If less than 2cm, chemo only after removal. So, the amount of chemo would depend on the final results & size of the tumors once they were removed. For now, my plan was going to be chemo after, based on the biopsy results. I would have 5 months of chemo – 4 weeks of strong, hard, and aggressive chemo every 2 weeks, followed by 12 weeks of a milder, but still strong chemo once a week. Chemo would be followed by 5 weeks of radiation…daily! I’m thinking, I’m going to be burnt and blistered…and miserable! How will I ever get through such harsh treatment to my body?
Dr. SB also ordered genetic testing. This will determine if my kids could be a risk. If the test came back positive, I would have to do the bilateral BRAC 1 & BRAC 2 testing as would BreAna & Dany. My mind is saying Pray! Pray! Pray!! I do not want my kids going through any of this!
All in all, I felt like I had a good report from my doctor and…a plan…now I have a plan of action! By the time we left Dr. SB’s office, we all felt so much better. Thank YOU Father for something good!…YES! finally some good news in all this unbelievable nightmare! I will commit my plans to the LORD! HE directs my path! In another reading I had today it said that only in the fullness of spiritual things can the heart-sick, faint, & weary be satisfied, healed, and rested. It is only when we surrender our fears to HIM that we are truly satisfied and can find rest…and allow healing to enter our body.
I went on to work when we got home. I was determined to have as much normalcy in my life as I could…not to mention not knowing how long I would be able to work. Would I miss a lot of work, will I be spending days in bed, would I be so sick I wouldn’t be able to be around my family and friends…or go to church? How much will my life change?
That afternoon, my Pastor friend came by to see me at my office. We had a wonderful visit…love him so much! As we visited he told me he was in deep prayer for me that morning and felt so strongly that I was going to be fine through all of my treatments. He told me about his treatments when he had cancer years earlier. He said the chemo didn’t really bother him – just made him tired. He said the radiation really made him tired. What a way to end this day…positive, good, uplifting news, devotional readings seemingly tailored made for me and a visit from my dear, sweet Pastor friend…GOD is so good!
Was all of this…the readings and my Pastor’s visit, just a coincidence – or was it a Heavenly Father sending HIS child relief, hope and encouragement?
I do not believe in coincidence! My GOD is winking at me 😉
